Opening September 14th: It’s About Time

We Have Waited and Waited … Do We Finally Have A Weekend Worth Waiting For?

This Makes Somebody Excited
Doesn’t It?
The last month has not been easy. Maybe to limit it to a month is an understatement. When was the last movie that got people really excited? The Expendables 2 (not as many people as they hoped for)? The Bourne Legacy (fewer than the previous Borne movies)? Total Recall (I was excited until I saw it)? The Dark Knight Rises (yup, that’s the one)? It’s been a long time. But now the clouds are separating, the sun is beginning to shine, we can see an end to the boredom … I think. Can’t zombies and re-released classics and the birth of Scientology be just the thing to ignite our passions again? The answer of course is — maybe.
This weekend may have people excited on paper, but the problem is are they good enough to handle the increased pressure? That’s the problem with waiting. The waiting makes people anxious, impatient, unforgiving. The waiting makes people forget how good Boogie Nights and Finding Nemo really are. The waiting makes people wonder if Milla Jovovich is any different than Kate Beckinsale. The waiting makes people wonder if this is really what we have been waiting for? The waiting forces us to ask if it was worth the wait. Will this week’s movies live up to that standard? Would it make you feel better about their chances if I told you there was another Nick Cage movie coming out this weekend too?

The Master
Interest Level: 9
So Is It About Scientology: Absolutely, They Just Wont Admit It Anymore
There are a handful of directors out there that make their fans feel safe and Paul Thomas Anderson is definitely one of them. Why do we (yes, I am a fan) feel safe? Because Hard Eight begat Boogie Nights which begat Magnolia which begat Punch Drunk Love which begat There Will Be Blood which has all led to The Master. The worst of those might be There Will Be Blood which is a good (maybe not great) movie with a terrific lead performance. The Master looks like more straightforward storytelling that Anderson’s earlier movies (although, looks can be deceiving) but it also looks like it is destined for another classic lead performance from Phillip Seymour Hoffman. I can’t wait for this one, even if they are trying to deny it is about Scientology.
Finding Nemo: 3D
Interest Level: 10 for the movie 0 for the 3D
Where Was Nemo Ranked In Your Pixar List: It Is My #1 Pixar Movie Ever
For me Finding Nemo represents the apex of Pixar’s powers and really, even more than Toy Story, solidified in our minds what a “Pixar” movie means. Does making this 3D add anything for me? No, but I hate 3D (it gives me a headache and dulls the vibrancy of films more than I like). I am still going to take my 8 year old so to see it, just so he can be engulfed in the film as only seeing it in a theater can do. Hopefully we can just find a 2D showing.
Resident Evil: Retribution
Interest Level: At Once a 9 and a 5 (I’ll explain below)
What? I’m confused: I said, I’ll explain below!
My wife and I love all of the Resident Evil movies. Whenever we see the trailers for the next film we get giddy with excitement. However, as my wife reminded me the first time we started getting all pumped up when we saw the trailer for Retribution, we have NEVER seen a Resident Evil movie in the theaters. Not one. Which makes our excitement about this date completely nonsensical. We aren’t going to go see it. The day it comes out on DVD we’ll see it, we may even buy it, but we wont go to the theaters and spend $30 after popcorn to see the movie, even though we love it. Confused? I am too.
Liberal Arts
Interest Level: 5
Do You Still Watch How I Met Your Mother: Yes, kind of (see Fall TV Preview Here)
Did you know that there are blogs dedicated to how much they hate Ted on How I Met Your Mother? Message Boards, Twitter feeds, stuff all over the internet about what a condescending and unlikeable character Ted is. I’m not saying I agree, but it is almost indisputable that Josh Radnor has gotten the least amount of career advancement from being on a sitcom that successfully launched Jason Seagal and Cobie Smulders, made the world forget about Willow and turned Neil Patrick Harris into THE host for every awards show ever created. For Josh Radnor (a.k.a. Ted) nothing. At least nothing big. Here he writes, directs and stars in a dramedy (can we just make comedies and dramas again people, does every movie have to be both) about a 30 something he goes home and falls for an 18 year old played by Elizabeth Olsen (the “twins” little sister). So, it is exactly like the movie that came out last week (Hello I Must Be Going) about the 30 something woman who goes home and has an affair with the 18 year old boy, just in reverse.
Interest Level: 4
What Was The Last Richard Gere Movie You Were Excited About: Unfaithful, but that was for different reasons
So, Richard Gere is basically playing his same character from Pretty Woman, now he is older and more weathered and makes a mistake while trying to sell his company that leads him, blah, blah, blah. Susan Sarandon is in this anti-Wall Street movie too and the studio is really hoping for some Oscar buzz for Gere (I doubt he’ll get it).
10 Years
Interest Level: 4
Is This Another Dramedy: Sadly, Yes
Listen to this cast. Channing Tatum, Rosario Dawson and Justin Long. Here’s the thing, when that many borderline A-listers are in a movie that is getting a limited release and almost no press you have to wonder (think every recent Nicolas Cage movie). If it was great why wouldn’t a studio push it? Particularly with as hot as Channing Tatum is right now. The answer is that the movie is an OK 10 year high school reunion can never go back again thing. Nothing more.
Interest Level: 4
Hey, Did You Plan The Nick Cage Reference You Did In 10 Years: Sadly, No
Nick Cage, Malin Ackerman (who is becoming the female version of Cage, constantly working and putting out direct to DVD or nearly movies), Josh Lucas (I think I forgot all about the Poseidon star) and Danny Houston (he is funny on that STARZ show) star in the story of a thief whose daughter is kidnapped and then a whole bunch of stuff happens.
Snowman’s Land
Interest Level: 8
I Thought You Hated 2 Year Old Movies That Are Just Now Being Released: Normally I Do
This German movie about a contract killer hired to protect a mob boss is really atmospheric, really dark and undeniably cool. I know I often ramble on about these movies that have bounced around, but this is the exception that proves the rule. You wont find it in your local theater, but if you see it on On Demand give it a chance, you wont be disappointed. And by the way, how awesome is that title?!
Look, the weekend has one sure thing (Nemo) and two movies that are as close to sure things as possible. I mean, if you are in to Paul Thomas Anderson and Resident Evil they are sure things (even if you don’t see it in the theater). And that is a lot better than what we have been getting for the last long while at the cinema.
But hey, what do I know? I’m fat.