Opening July 13th: Oops … Fortunately I Didn’t Miss Much

If The Cut Weren’t Excuse Enough, How About A Concussion

Since I started this thing earlier this year I have only put one scheduling rule on myself – that I will write up weekly previews every Thursday. And I have stuck to that rule every week until last week. You can see the post I did on Friday to see the bulk of the excuse and if that isn’t enough you should know that the whole wiping out thing not only resulted in this awesome picture of me but it turns out 320 lbs. landing on its head causes concussions too (who knew?). So I have not only looked awesome for the last few days I have felt spectacular as well. Of course this accident has resulted in a few good things:

  • I have a new found respect for football players complaining about concussions.
  • I have a bunch of really cool photos of my black eye
  • I have started a second blog with daily lessons so people can look and feel as great as I do (and because I think we can all agree what the internet needs is more unqualified advice)
  • When you have the opportunity to have a Nick Nolte mug shot-like picture of yourself you take it!
Still, I did feel guilty about missing my Thursday deadline, that is until I looked at the movies released last week. This is now the third time we have seen this, a week that is so clearly the sacrificial lamb before to the box office gods before our cinematic world is devoured once again. The devourer this time will not be Katniss or The Avengers, the devourer will be Batman. So, the week before Chris Nolan ends his trilogy of The Dark Knight we got Ice Age and a bunch of VOD and art house releases, few of which had any real buzz. It is as though the movie gods knew that this was the week to not bother with write-ups. Having said that, for the sake of continuity here is a quick list of what we missed:
Ice Age: Continental Drift
The fourth installment of the Ice Age franchise will be a bigger hit than you realize because, while they do well here, they all do spectacularly well internationally. If you have kids 10 or under you have lived through these and know that they are all painless and each has moments that are truly inspired (the Dodo’s in the first one, the Vultures singing in the second, Buck in the third) and none would make the short list of greatest animated features of all time. No doubt this will be in line with each of the previous one’s.
Easy Money
This is the best of the smaller films out, a crime thriller about a wealthy guy who leads a double life as a drug dealer. Its from Sweden and was kind of viewed as the next great movie (and book) to come out of Sweden after The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. It is a few years old but it launched the career of Joel Kinnaman who plays the sleazy partner in AMC’s The Killing and director Daniel Espinosa who went on to direct Safe House. If you are going to seek out one movie from last weekend and you are not a kid or parent this would be the one to watch.
This Cast, Dumped In
The Middle Of July
Not A Good Sign
After those two movies we were left with four indie flicks that all look ok on paper and have casts that will make you raise an eyebrow, but if you have learned nothing from me learn this, if there is a limited release movie with high names attached (DeNiro, Sigourney Weaver Cillian Murphy, Frida Pinto, to name this weeks entries) that is being dumped in the middle of summer you can be pretty sure it isn’t great. If it were it would have come out in the fall so it could build to Oscar buzz.
By the way, the movies were Red Lights (about a psychologist who studies paranormal activity), Alps (about a company who will impersonate the recently deceased to allow people to get closure), Trishna (a tragic tale about a mother and son who live in poverty) and Union Square (a dramedy about a girl who left her “crazy” family for a more structured life but gets sucked back in because of a sister).
Also, there were a couple of documentaries released. The first, Ballplayer: Pelotero, is a sports doc following a couple of kids in the dominican as they move up the baseball ranks toward a hoped for shot at MLB and all that would bring and mean for their lives. The second got some press, it is called The Imposter and explores the story of a 16 year old French kid who convinces a grieving Texas family that he is their long lost son who had disappeared when he was 3.
Both docs are supposed to be good if not great.
Conclusion
The slate is cleared, both mine and hollywood’s. Now we can get ready for the movie we have all been waiting for ever since we saw The Avengers. The Dark Knight Rises will finally be here Friday.
But hey, what do I know, I’m fat and concussed.